Friday, April 29, 2011

Marquis "Sharked Silly", Nationals Shut Out Giants

"To be honest, I was sharked silly tonight.  I don't even remember pitching after the 4th.  They say we won. Go Nate!...Yeah, I mean Nats!" - Jason Marquis

Jason Marquis was sharked out of his mind tonight against the Giants!  Up against arguably the best pitcher in baseball, The Nationals, led by Marquis outdueled The Freak and cruised to a 3-0 victoryRicK AnKiel (now batting .215) didn't contribute, but Laynce Nix helped out, by hitting a 2 run jack.  Meanwhile, The Shark hasn't returned to the Syracuse lineup yet, and the Chiefs lost again.  Without him, they have now lost six straight games.  What doesn't make sense to me is that he's not on the Nationals nor the Chiefs.  WHY ISN'T ANYONE BENEFITING FROM THE SHARK!? 

Yesterday: Daddy Desmond, proud new father of Grayson Sharkadina Desmond, took some tips from The Shark before returning to the lineup and it showed with his triple/homerun performance. While the Nationals did win the game 4-3, everyone was still bitter with Jim Riggleman for demoting the Shark, and shunned him throughout the game, with Alex Cora subbing in as Manager. They ended up winning 4-3.

Andre Ethier is acting very Shark-like these days, extending his hitting streak the 24 games.  On the Nationals side, Matt Stairs has extended his hitless streak to 17 games this season.  In an interview, a visibly upset Stairs stated, "I get it! I'm not the Shark! But my mom won't let me quit the team! I HATE THIS!  Pleeeeeaaase let me go Tom! PLEASE!!!"  It began to get really uncomfortable when he got on his knees, grabbed the reporters pants and wept for several minutes.

Breaking News: Nationals owner Ted Lerner admitted today that he allowed Rick Ankiel to be signed because of the fairly convincing Shark impression Lerner saw Ankiel do a few years ago (when he was still good...).

Apparently you can draw a picture of Roger Bernadina with the number 4. Awesome!

More to come.