Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Another nice game at the plate today for Roger Bernadina.  The Shark helped the Nationals down the Marlins 8-4, as he went 1 for 3, with 2 runs scored.   Due to his speed, he forced an errant throw on a sacrifice bunt, setting up a 5 run inning for Washington.  One thing is sure, the Shark knows how to terrorize the Marlins.

As a society, we learn a little more about Roger Bernadina every day.  Some days we learn more than others.  Like today, for instance, we learn ten new things:
  1. Great White Sharks account for about 30% of all shark attacks. Roger Bernadina accounts for the rest.
  2. When not playing baseball, Bernadina hustles people in cards and charges exuberant interest rates while loaning out money.
  3. A shark can sense blood in the water from several miles away, Roger Bernadina can sense where a ball will be hit, before the pitcher throws it.
  4. San Jose named their hockey team the Sharks because Bernadina had a layover there once.
  5. Until the nineteenth century, some inhabitants of the islands in the South Pacific considered sharks to be gods and offered human sacrifices to them.  After watching Bernadina play baseball, now they all do.
  6. Shark skin(made of denticles) is so rough that if Bernadina high fives you, you'll need serious hand surgery.
  7. The Chinese basketball team, the Shanghai Sharks is comprised of an army of Roger Bernadina clones.
  8. The 1965 Chevrolet Mako Shark II concept car (which may very well be the coolest looking automobile in history), was designed after Roger Bernadina.
  9. Adam Dunn didn't sign with the Chicago White Sox for the money. He signed because he has an inherent and crippling, pants-wetting fear of sharks.
  10. Roger Bernadina can stop time. 
 More to come.

    1 comment:

    1. I just came over here from the Federal Baseball gamethread. This thing is friggin' hilarious. Keep it up and your man will be more popular than Teddy Roosevelt amongst the true fans.

      If Bernadina doesn't grant you guys an interview, there is nothing right with the world.